Can Barbie Ever Win?

Today I would like to veer off topic and focus on something that is completely unrelated to unemployment.  Barbie.  Check out this link:
http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/meet-the-new-natural-barbie-173422198.html
What is with people?  They complain that Barbie is too this and too that and whateverthefuck else.  I have news for all you haters:  BARBIE IS A DOLL!!!  A fucking plastic toy.  So back off.  Now, they make her "normal" with braces and acne and no makeup and people call her crack Barbie and they tell Ken to run screaming for the hills.  Make up your minds!  I know how she feels.  I've always felt unfairly judged for reasons I won't even pretend to understand.  Personally, I loved my Barbie dolls growing up and it's a sad walk down the toy isle at the store today because I barely recognize my childhood friend.  So what if her proportions were more ridiculous than Giselle's and so what if she represents everything that's unattainable?  Isn't that the point?  I'm never going to be a mythical pony or a Care Bear either, but that didn't stop me from playing with those things as a kid nor did it contribute to any sort of mental problems on account of not being able to grow a horn out of my forehead or project a rainbow from my chest.  If you want to blame her for your daughter's eating disorder and the fact that she's a certifiable fruit basket, that's your problem.  No one's forcing you to buy the damn doll and nothing's going to change the fact that she exists so get the fuck over it and get a life.  The only suggestion I'm going to throw out there to the good folks at Mattel is that they come up with some sort of unemployment Barbie.  I'd love to hang with my fellow unemployed homegirl.