Ok, what the fuck? To answer my own question, (see post from April 22, Can Barbie Ever Win?) no. Apparently Barbie can never win. Not only has Barbie been exposed to the world in all her natural glory (to include braces, zits, and frizzy hair), now, apparently, it was deemed necessary to make her short, fat, and ugly. I'm sorry I must share with you the atrocities I've just witnessed, but I'm at a loss. I don't know what else to do here but spread this around. It pains me to post this link, but I have to do it...
Barbie Gets (Another) Real Makeover
Again, what the fuck? I think they're confused. See, the real Barbie (and truly, I can't even say that because I believe that to be a semi-mutilated version of her, as well) is standing next to the thing that reminds me of this dyke softball coach who somehow made it into the MBA program I was in and attempted to draw parallels from everything to sports because life is just one big fucking soccer game, apparently. She also thought she shouldn't work or do anything on Sunday as it's the Sabbath and she always feels guilty for doing so much and blah blah blah. I believe, (although I could be wrong) that on the seventh day God rested. I also believe that followers were commanded to simply remember the Sabbath day to keep it Holy or some such shit. Anyway, I remember wanting to stick my pen through my eye into my brain and swirl it around. Clearly she missed that message and now I'm off topic. What I'm trying to say, is that this assault on Barbie gives me a similar urge to blind myself.
I hope every pathetic, stupid, sad, fat, ugly, nasty, hairy bitch out there is happy. You won today. Enjoy it mother fuckers.
