Like I've been saying...
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Omega
Omega. I am so done, I need a new word for it. If there were a word to describe how final this all is I would use it, but there isn't one. Only the word omega is somehow appropriate here and, again, I am so done with the insanity. For those of you who don't know, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. It is a sad day in America when you can say that the search for dignified employment for an educated, articulate, and capable person is insane.
As if going to college (over and over) after several years of sharp increases in education costs and record levels of national student debt and graduating into the worst job market in 70 years isn't bad enough, now I get to do it again. Yes, after an associate's degree, two bachelor's degrees, and a master's degree I'm returning to school to get a fucking diploma. I know what you're thinking; insanity, right? No! This time it makes sense because it is conducive to self-employment. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking before! Probably nothing, because I never received one practical piece of advice or guidance from a single adult in my life, ever. (By the way, what the fuck is the purpose of guidance counselors anyway?) I was told things like "you can be anything you want to be" and "you can do anything you want to do" and "all you have to do is go to college and you can work anywhere you want". Not fucking true, assholes! The truth is, opportunities in life are very few and far between and they are highly dependent on the area in which you live and the people you know (and, in my case, they are usually attached to some bizarre set of circumstances). Not only that, much of life has to do with luck and, baby, I ain't got none.
After all the trauma to which I've been subject (and it was especially traumatic from a human resources standpoint in the sense that I got to see firsthand how shit rolls downhill and unfolds most scandalously from the employer side of things and it's not good) I can finally say that I'm going to put this whole nightmare of the last four years behind me kind of because there simply aren't any jobs available that I can even apply for, but mostly because I fear for my mental health. (By the way, I was selected to attend a follow up indignity - see posting from June 12 for a run down - and had to explain to the same cunt I've met with before that the largest two employers in town are decreasing the size of their workforces through attrition, are paying people to retire, and one - a public institution - is operating on a $3 million budget deficit. I also had to explain that, like her, most people aren't in positions of influence within their organizations and can't just invent positions that don't exist so calling employers all day long is, in fact, not a productive use of my time). Everyone has a limit to the level of exposure they can tolerate before they implode and I've hit my fucking limit and then some. This is over. I have hope for the future only because I will never, ever, have to work for another human being if I choose not to, ever. If I choose. If I choose! I will have a choice! DID YOU HEAR ME MOTHER FUCKERS?! CHOICES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've never had them before. Maybe my circumstances are forcing me into this, but this excessive use of force is giving me CHOICES people! Even if I am destined to hover on the poverty line for the rest of my life at least it will be on my fucking terms.
On a final note for the day, my generation will never enjoy the living standards comparable to prior generations. As an added bonus, we've ended up saddled with the $17 trillion national debt racked up by our parents and grandparents and they will enjoy social security payouts in multiples we will never dream of. All that, and here's something else to brighten your day and elevate your hope for the future. Lucky for me, I'll never have to fucking worry about it again. OMEGA bitches.
As if going to college (over and over) after several years of sharp increases in education costs and record levels of national student debt and graduating into the worst job market in 70 years isn't bad enough, now I get to do it again. Yes, after an associate's degree, two bachelor's degrees, and a master's degree I'm returning to school to get a fucking diploma. I know what you're thinking; insanity, right? No! This time it makes sense because it is conducive to self-employment. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking before! Probably nothing, because I never received one practical piece of advice or guidance from a single adult in my life, ever. (By the way, what the fuck is the purpose of guidance counselors anyway?) I was told things like "you can be anything you want to be" and "you can do anything you want to do" and "all you have to do is go to college and you can work anywhere you want". Not fucking true, assholes! The truth is, opportunities in life are very few and far between and they are highly dependent on the area in which you live and the people you know (and, in my case, they are usually attached to some bizarre set of circumstances). Not only that, much of life has to do with luck and, baby, I ain't got none.
After all the trauma to which I've been subject (and it was especially traumatic from a human resources standpoint in the sense that I got to see firsthand how shit rolls downhill and unfolds most scandalously from the employer side of things and it's not good) I can finally say that I'm going to put this whole nightmare of the last four years behind me kind of because there simply aren't any jobs available that I can even apply for, but mostly because I fear for my mental health. (By the way, I was selected to attend a follow up indignity - see posting from June 12 for a run down - and had to explain to the same cunt I've met with before that the largest two employers in town are decreasing the size of their workforces through attrition, are paying people to retire, and one - a public institution - is operating on a $3 million budget deficit. I also had to explain that, like her, most people aren't in positions of influence within their organizations and can't just invent positions that don't exist so calling employers all day long is, in fact, not a productive use of my time). Everyone has a limit to the level of exposure they can tolerate before they implode and I've hit my fucking limit and then some. This is over. I have hope for the future only because I will never, ever, have to work for another human being if I choose not to, ever. If I choose. If I choose! I will have a choice! DID YOU HEAR ME MOTHER FUCKERS?! CHOICES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've never had them before. Maybe my circumstances are forcing me into this, but this excessive use of force is giving me CHOICES people! Even if I am destined to hover on the poverty line for the rest of my life at least it will be on my fucking terms.
On a final note for the day, my generation will never enjoy the living standards comparable to prior generations. As an added bonus, we've ended up saddled with the $17 trillion national debt racked up by our parents and grandparents and they will enjoy social security payouts in multiples we will never dream of. All that, and here's something else to brighten your day and elevate your hope for the future. Lucky for me, I'll never have to fucking worry about it again. OMEGA bitches.
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
A little despair for the day...
Sorry for my absence. A brief update:
A little despair for the day...
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/lower-job-churn-hurts-young-000000652.html
- A family member died a couple weeks ago.
- There are still no jobs. I can't even give myself false hope anymore by applying for jobs I'm never going to get because they simply don't exist.
A little despair for the day...
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/lower-job-churn-hurts-young-000000652.html
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Daily Indignity
So yesterday I attended a mandatory (mandatory, meaning I would no longer be eligible to receive unemployment benefits if I did not complete this activity) reemployment session at my county workforce center. I fully expected this inconvenience to last ten minutes or less (I've done this before and that bitch wanted me out of there as fast as possible) but here's how it went:
I arrived punctually, ten minutes before my scheduled time of 10:30 A.M. They ask me if I'm registered on the workforce center's website. After I say that I am (and that I have been for years) they make me log in anyway, "just to make sure". Then I have to sit and wait while they register two computer illiterate baby boomers. Next, I sit through an hour long power point presentation in a sweltering conference room with four other people who have active unemployment claims and who probably have a combined IQ of 80. THEN, I had to sit and wait while the presenter did an individual work search plan with everyone (mine took approximately thirty seconds because what do you tell someone to do when they've already done everything they can do?) and apparently some people had a lot of ground to cover. And THEN, I had to endure another pointless fucking presentation. In all, and hour and 45 minutes of my life wasted (poof - gone!) for something that should have taken five minutes in an individual session. Unreal. These sessions should not be conducted in a group setting if for no other reason than to maintain the dignity of those forced to attend. And personally, I'm not interested in listening to the vulnerable adult who was laid off from her dish washing job lament about the difficulties she has because it's hard to find employers with "now hiring" signs hanging up in front of their businesses when you're driving around. Whaaaaaa.....? She's a special one, folks. If that's her idea of searching for a job she has a long road ahead of her, and it's so avoidable! Doesn't she know McDonald's is always hiring people with no skills?
Oh, and to the Department of Employment and Economic Development, here's something to ponder: Your website contains over 80,000 active resumes and less than 60,000 posted positions, most of which are part-time and/or minimum wage. Do the fucking math. You see, in order to get a suitable job there needs to be one available which is not the case in the land of no opportunity a.k.a the black hole of death. It's like I always said. Whoever says we're in a recovery is high as a fucking kite. Make no mistake, the recession is alive and well, maybe not in all parts of the country but certainly in this Midwestern shit hole.
I arrived punctually, ten minutes before my scheduled time of 10:30 A.M. They ask me if I'm registered on the workforce center's website. After I say that I am (and that I have been for years) they make me log in anyway, "just to make sure". Then I have to sit and wait while they register two computer illiterate baby boomers. Next, I sit through an hour long power point presentation in a sweltering conference room with four other people who have active unemployment claims and who probably have a combined IQ of 80. THEN, I had to sit and wait while the presenter did an individual work search plan with everyone (mine took approximately thirty seconds because what do you tell someone to do when they've already done everything they can do?) and apparently some people had a lot of ground to cover. And THEN, I had to endure another pointless fucking presentation. In all, and hour and 45 minutes of my life wasted (poof - gone!) for something that should have taken five minutes in an individual session. Unreal. These sessions should not be conducted in a group setting if for no other reason than to maintain the dignity of those forced to attend. And personally, I'm not interested in listening to the vulnerable adult who was laid off from her dish washing job lament about the difficulties she has because it's hard to find employers with "now hiring" signs hanging up in front of their businesses when you're driving around. Whaaaaaa.....? She's a special one, folks. If that's her idea of searching for a job she has a long road ahead of her, and it's so avoidable! Doesn't she know McDonald's is always hiring people with no skills?
Oh, and to the Department of Employment and Economic Development, here's something to ponder: Your website contains over 80,000 active resumes and less than 60,000 posted positions, most of which are part-time and/or minimum wage. Do the fucking math. You see, in order to get a suitable job there needs to be one available which is not the case in the land of no opportunity a.k.a the black hole of death. It's like I always said. Whoever says we're in a recovery is high as a fucking kite. Make no mistake, the recession is alive and well, maybe not in all parts of the country but certainly in this Midwestern shit hole.
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Indoctrination of Justice?
Ok, I'm back. Sorry. Random appliances keep breaking and things keep flooding and life continues to be generally difficult because how else would it be?
Anyway, I would like to fill you in on a few developments. FVT is down another HR representative, who also happens to be my spy on the inside. While I'm happy this person will be moving out of the snake pit and on to much, much greener pastures (hopefully), I have to say I'm a little disappointed I will no longer have access to insider information. The funny thing is that this person is particularly valuable to FVT and Chicken Little is not happy about her departure (but what did he expect???). I know this because Chicken Little is no longer badgering her relentlessly about every-single-fucking-god-damned-thing-under-the-sun like he does to everyone. When the sky stops falling, that's when you know Chicken Little is upset. He gives himself away. That idiot is the epitome of myopia, I tell you.
Also, Becca Bacon has been demoted to the position she originally held when she started with ISL, and she's not the only one. Basically anyone thinner or prettier than Delores Umbridge (and trust me, it doesn't take much) was put back in the position they held before she started with the company (I must be blindingly beautiful, because I simply had to go). Of course, she sent out a fluffy email making it sound like these people received some sort of promotion or something. Clearly, she doesn't care about morale or the type of work environment she's creating.
Here's something else: Out of the blue, I was contacted by an attorney who was hired to represent some disgruntled FVT employees. Of course, I was only too happy to provide the information he was seeking, and I have more where that came from. Story developing... Cue BIG, EVIL LAUGH...
Anyway, I would like to fill you in on a few developments. FVT is down another HR representative, who also happens to be my spy on the inside. While I'm happy this person will be moving out of the snake pit and on to much, much greener pastures (hopefully), I have to say I'm a little disappointed I will no longer have access to insider information. The funny thing is that this person is particularly valuable to FVT and Chicken Little is not happy about her departure (but what did he expect???). I know this because Chicken Little is no longer badgering her relentlessly about every-single-fucking-god-damned-thing-under-the-sun like he does to everyone. When the sky stops falling, that's when you know Chicken Little is upset. He gives himself away. That idiot is the epitome of myopia, I tell you.
Also, Becca Bacon has been demoted to the position she originally held when she started with ISL, and she's not the only one. Basically anyone thinner or prettier than Delores Umbridge (and trust me, it doesn't take much) was put back in the position they held before she started with the company (I must be blindingly beautiful, because I simply had to go). Of course, she sent out a fluffy email making it sound like these people received some sort of promotion or something. Clearly, she doesn't care about morale or the type of work environment she's creating.
Here's something else: Out of the blue, I was contacted by an attorney who was hired to represent some disgruntled FVT employees. Of course, I was only too happy to provide the information he was seeking, and I have more where that came from. Story developing... Cue BIG, EVIL LAUGH...
Friday, May 23, 2014
Recipe for Disaster
Now that I've made some introductions, I would like to explain a little bit about the corporate structure and political landscape to which I was subject. To begin, Becca Bacon and Delores Umbridge both work for a company called ISL. For lack of a better way to say this, ISL serves a corporate function for many affiliate companies. They provide "shared services" in the areas of IT, HR, etc. Heath Big Mac and Chicken Little both work for a company called FVT. FVT is technically an affiliate company, but not really. See, ISL doesn't have controlling interest. It's split right down the middle with the original ownership, who are big fans of Heath Big Mac. Now, the President of the Board for FVT (we'll call him Dick House) is also the President and CEO of ISL. In addition, he's the son of the founder of ISL. Here's the thing about Dick House, him and Chicken Little are good ol' boys. Dick House is the reason Chicken Little was brought to FVT so Dick House would never admit that it was a mistake.
Delores Umbridge was hired at ISL around the same time I was hired at FVT. Her role was to manage the group that oversees payroll and benefit functions for all affiliate companies. Lots more to come on this bitch, so stay tuned.
Now, Becca Bacon, an HR Manager at ISL was my direct supervisor, although I was employed by FVT. FVT and ISL don't see eye to eye. So, how can this work, you ask? Well, it can't. You can't be employed by one company and report to someone who works for another company when those two companies want different things, there's nothing but friction, and nobody trusts anybody. It defies logic. And of course, the Labor Statistic got stuck right smack in the middle of all of it. Where else would I be? Apparently, life just wouldn't be in balance if I wasn't being confronted by an impossible situation. Time after time after time.
And here I must sign off for today. When I get to thinking about impossible situations, my entire life story somehow gnaws at my finger tips and there simply isn't enough hours in the day and so I must cut myself off for now and back away from the keyboard...
Delores Umbridge was hired at ISL around the same time I was hired at FVT. Her role was to manage the group that oversees payroll and benefit functions for all affiliate companies. Lots more to come on this bitch, so stay tuned.
Now, Becca Bacon, an HR Manager at ISL was my direct supervisor, although I was employed by FVT. FVT and ISL don't see eye to eye. So, how can this work, you ask? Well, it can't. You can't be employed by one company and report to someone who works for another company when those two companies want different things, there's nothing but friction, and nobody trusts anybody. It defies logic. And of course, the Labor Statistic got stuck right smack in the middle of all of it. Where else would I be? Apparently, life just wouldn't be in balance if I wasn't being confronted by an impossible situation. Time after time after time.
And here I must sign off for today. When I get to thinking about impossible situations, my entire life story somehow gnaws at my finger tips and there simply isn't enough hours in the day and so I must cut myself off for now and back away from the keyboard...
Friday, May 16, 2014
Sympathy for the Devil
So, before I get into the horrific details of the last eight months of my life I think it's important to make some introductions. Here they are, in order from least-hated to most-hated:
Please allow me to introduce Becca Bacon: I don't hate Becca Bacon, per se, but she was a pawn in this chess game and because of her role in all this nonsense an introduction is appropriate here.
Please allow me to introduce Heath Big Mac: Heath Big Mac is the big cheese. Heath Big Mac is ignorant (like most men) and explosive (like some men) and he has absolutely no concept whatsoever about what it means to be a respectful professional. I'd put him on the same level as a two year old throwing a tantrum.
Please allow me to introduce Delores Umbridge: Yes, this evil, heartless, manipulative snake in the grass is named after the Harry Potter character we all despise. Much the same, this bitch is equally condescending, demeaning, and terrifying. What I mean by terrifying is that, just like the character in the book, everything she owns is pink and her office looks like a 12 year old's bedroom. Seriously. It's fucking scary and very unprofessional.
...and finally,
Please allow me to introduce Chicken Little: This deranged hillbilly is the plant manager and is also the epitome of ignorance; we do not speak the same language. To me the sky is blue, but to him, it's bright orange. I physically hate this man and I will remember him for the rest of my life, and for nothing good. He is so abhorrent, I couldn't possibly find the appropriate words to describe him for the purposes of this introduction, but I will attempt to at least give you some perspective. This man is an iceberg waiting for the Titanic. He is so unbelievably inappropriate, and one of the most ineffective leaders I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. How one gets to this point in their career when they are the most unreasonable and illogical person on the planet is beyond me. He runs around all day like a chicken with his head cut off (remember Chicken Little? The sky is falling, the sky is falling! - Chicken Little did not care about facts) and accomplishes nothing except making everyone crazy because he thinks everything is an emergency. The words accountability and consistency are not in his vocabulary. They are foreign concepts to him. And how is it that someone at his level is exempt from doing their job? Apparently policy enforcement and fair and consistent treatment are not his responsibility despite the fact that he oversees the entire production management team and is responsible for all of the production in the plant. I have never seen anything like it! He fabricates things, plays games with people, and passes the buck. He also micromanages to a spectacular degree (every other department except the one he should be worried about) and I'm quite certain he suffers from "reportomania". He's very much a "quadratic formula for brownies divided by the square root of gummy bears" type of person. Yes, that level of logic. Guys like this idiot are generally detrimental to organizations. To learn more, click the link below.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micromanagement
Please allow me to introduce Becca Bacon: I don't hate Becca Bacon, per se, but she was a pawn in this chess game and because of her role in all this nonsense an introduction is appropriate here.
Please allow me to introduce Heath Big Mac: Heath Big Mac is the big cheese. Heath Big Mac is ignorant (like most men) and explosive (like some men) and he has absolutely no concept whatsoever about what it means to be a respectful professional. I'd put him on the same level as a two year old throwing a tantrum.
Please allow me to introduce Delores Umbridge: Yes, this evil, heartless, manipulative snake in the grass is named after the Harry Potter character we all despise. Much the same, this bitch is equally condescending, demeaning, and terrifying. What I mean by terrifying is that, just like the character in the book, everything she owns is pink and her office looks like a 12 year old's bedroom. Seriously. It's fucking scary and very unprofessional.
...and finally,
Please allow me to introduce Chicken Little: This deranged hillbilly is the plant manager and is also the epitome of ignorance; we do not speak the same language. To me the sky is blue, but to him, it's bright orange. I physically hate this man and I will remember him for the rest of my life, and for nothing good. He is so abhorrent, I couldn't possibly find the appropriate words to describe him for the purposes of this introduction, but I will attempt to at least give you some perspective. This man is an iceberg waiting for the Titanic. He is so unbelievably inappropriate, and one of the most ineffective leaders I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. How one gets to this point in their career when they are the most unreasonable and illogical person on the planet is beyond me. He runs around all day like a chicken with his head cut off (remember Chicken Little? The sky is falling, the sky is falling! - Chicken Little did not care about facts) and accomplishes nothing except making everyone crazy because he thinks everything is an emergency. The words accountability and consistency are not in his vocabulary. They are foreign concepts to him. And how is it that someone at his level is exempt from doing their job? Apparently policy enforcement and fair and consistent treatment are not his responsibility despite the fact that he oversees the entire production management team and is responsible for all of the production in the plant. I have never seen anything like it! He fabricates things, plays games with people, and passes the buck. He also micromanages to a spectacular degree (every other department except the one he should be worried about) and I'm quite certain he suffers from "reportomania". He's very much a "quadratic formula for brownies divided by the square root of gummy bears" type of person. Yes, that level of logic. Guys like this idiot are generally detrimental to organizations. To learn more, click the link below.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micromanagement
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