Please accept my sincerest apologies. I have not abandoned my blog. Rather, life has temporarily gotten in the way. Today, the tears have been wiped away and the dust has settled after the tragic loss of someone very important. My homework level has decreased to something manageable and the biggest lawn ever has been dutifully mowed. There are always a million things to do, especially now that I'm working full time, but I've resolved to carve out a few minutes on a regular basis to devote to this blog.
So, I received an offer of permanent employment (this was surprising as nothing ever works out for me and I fully expect to be fired at any moment for no reason because that's what happens, right?) once the contract with the temp agency has been fulfilled and, once again, I have a long-term plan to dig out of the black hole. Hopefully after having worked there for a year (I just crossed myself even though I'm not Catholic) I will FINALLY be able to refinance and take out a substantial sum to fix EVERY SINGLE THING in my house and put the stupid thing up for sale. After all the work and cost of making everything as perfect as it can be I won't even be able to enjoy it (assuming it sells) but after the events of the last couple of years I need that profit. It's Operation Clean Slate bitches! But, back to the job. Things are finally going well. I have flexibility, I have a boss I like (and who likes me back, which is the most important part as this is one of the few people who can ruin your life), I have a place to hide out (meaning I don't have to deal with one single member of the general public in person), I don't have to wait on anyone with much less education and a much better job than I have, I don't have to touch anyone's dirty dishes, and I will be on the receiving end of some pretty exceptional benefits which make it justifiable to spend 25% of my after-tax income on gas. All in all, this is a good situation for now. I no longer hate my life. Although it would have behooved me to spend a year or two in some office assistant program instead of wasting all these years in school for nothing, I'm able to recognize the silver linings of this situation and be grateful for the relief they provide me.
I will be in touch.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Hanging on by a Thread
Ok, here's what's happened since you last heard from me:
1. The staffing company who rejected me after I completed their personality index assessment called me about an available position at their client company 45 minutes away (of course I'd applied for this same position about a year ago and was rejected, so I didn't bother when I saw it posted again recently because what's the point?) They told me they wanted me to start the very next day. Um...ok?
2. Due to a breakdown of communication between employees of the staffing company that rejected me for employment I was given the incorrect pay range when they initially contacted me which resulted in some discomfort during my initial meeting with their client company. I will be paid significantly more money as a result of this miscommunication and due to the fact that their client company was in a desperate situation.
3. Here's the situation: There are two employees and an executive director. The two employees both quit and their final days were last Friday and today. This allowed me exactly five training days before being thrown into the lion's den. Also, there was to be a second temp and she was a no show. Here's the bad part: While I was fortunate that they were in a desperate situation and basically forced them to pay me something other than the poverty wages to which I've become accustomed, this is a temporary position. Although it has the potential to become permanent, I'm highly aware of the fact that they could probably hire a permanent employee more cheaply. I sure hope they don't eventually expect me to train that person...because I won't.
So, basically, I may or may not have a job, permanent or otherwise, within the next 12 weeks. The precariousness of the situation does come with certain benefits, however. It gives me a chance to earn some money while I continue looking for jobs and I don't have to feel bad if I leave after two months because it's only a temp position. Also, it gets me out of the black hole of death and into another community for the time being, which is very important because keeping track of all the trails was becoming an unmanageable task (not that certain trails don't exist in my current situation, but they're much harder to prove). So, here I am, still hanging on by a thread. And the irony in the fact that the job I might actually end up with is a job I didn't even apply for is not lost on me.
Tomorrow's my first day in the lion's den. All alone.
PS: Apparently doing semi-tacky things at an interview doesn't increase your chances of getting hired like I thought. I didn't get a second interview at the company I really, really, really want to work for although they did send me a personal email (not automated) again letting me know that they were really impressed with my qualifications and that they were going to be posting another position in that same department within the next week and they encouraged me to apply for it again. Um....why? So they can tell me again that I don't meet their qualifications and they're electing to proceed with other candidates? Fuck that. This is the third time this has happened. Why would I continue applying? I'm going to have to conclude that, apparently, I'm not qualified to work at this company because they're too busy hiring people with high school diplomas and people with degrees that are unrelated to the positions they hold. If I happen to hear that this company does one thing that makes sense (this is a long shot, trust me) then maybe I'll apply there again one day. If not, I'm sure I'll have a wonderful temp job somewhere pulling the guts out of dead turkeys.
1. The staffing company who rejected me after I completed their personality index assessment called me about an available position at their client company 45 minutes away (of course I'd applied for this same position about a year ago and was rejected, so I didn't bother when I saw it posted again recently because what's the point?) They told me they wanted me to start the very next day. Um...ok?
2. Due to a breakdown of communication between employees of the staffing company that rejected me for employment I was given the incorrect pay range when they initially contacted me which resulted in some discomfort during my initial meeting with their client company. I will be paid significantly more money as a result of this miscommunication and due to the fact that their client company was in a desperate situation.
3. Here's the situation: There are two employees and an executive director. The two employees both quit and their final days were last Friday and today. This allowed me exactly five training days before being thrown into the lion's den. Also, there was to be a second temp and she was a no show. Here's the bad part: While I was fortunate that they were in a desperate situation and basically forced them to pay me something other than the poverty wages to which I've become accustomed, this is a temporary position. Although it has the potential to become permanent, I'm highly aware of the fact that they could probably hire a permanent employee more cheaply. I sure hope they don't eventually expect me to train that person...because I won't.
So, basically, I may or may not have a job, permanent or otherwise, within the next 12 weeks. The precariousness of the situation does come with certain benefits, however. It gives me a chance to earn some money while I continue looking for jobs and I don't have to feel bad if I leave after two months because it's only a temp position. Also, it gets me out of the black hole of death and into another community for the time being, which is very important because keeping track of all the trails was becoming an unmanageable task (not that certain trails don't exist in my current situation, but they're much harder to prove). So, here I am, still hanging on by a thread. And the irony in the fact that the job I might actually end up with is a job I didn't even apply for is not lost on me.
Tomorrow's my first day in the lion's den. All alone.
PS: Apparently doing semi-tacky things at an interview doesn't increase your chances of getting hired like I thought. I didn't get a second interview at the company I really, really, really want to work for although they did send me a personal email (not automated) again letting me know that they were really impressed with my qualifications and that they were going to be posting another position in that same department within the next week and they encouraged me to apply for it again. Um....why? So they can tell me again that I don't meet their qualifications and they're electing to proceed with other candidates? Fuck that. This is the third time this has happened. Why would I continue applying? I'm going to have to conclude that, apparently, I'm not qualified to work at this company because they're too busy hiring people with high school diplomas and people with degrees that are unrelated to the positions they hold. If I happen to hear that this company does one thing that makes sense (this is a long shot, trust me) then maybe I'll apply there again one day. If not, I'm sure I'll have a wonderful temp job somewhere pulling the guts out of dead turkeys.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
The Case for Weed and Cable
Oddly, I received an invitation to interview for a position I wasn't even going to apply for at the company I really, really, really want to work for because I thought I wasn't qualified for it and it seems arbitrarily difficult from the job description. I interviewed a week ago and haven't heard anything about a second interview, so I'm sure they just interviewed me to pad out the process and make it look fair. This is a high exposure position with a substantial learning curve so I'm not going to cry myself to sleep if I don't get hired for it. I looked at the interview as an opportunity to experiment by doing some semi-tacky things I don't normally do. For example, I took my big and cheesy purple, patent bag inside with me. I also wore a semi-gaudy piece of cheap costume jewelry which promptly broke and caused me to jump and said "Oh my God!" when I saw one of the beads laying on my file folder and thought it was a bug. I'll let you know the outcome of any further research along these lines. Also interesting, there are two more requisitions open for the job I really, really, really wanted and am qualified to do, but for which I was immediately rejected. I applied for both. This means that they have three of this particular position available and I'll probably be rejected for the other two which will result in a triple-hate whammy. I also applied for an HR internship they have available which would only be for the summer but would give me some HR experience and would be a way to get my foot in the door, which is apparently made of high-strength steel. I applied for one other position there that's semi-related to my education and experience as an experiment thinking that their recruiting and hiring practices make absolutely no sense, so maybe I'd have a chance, but no dice.
Today I received hate mail (my term for rejection letters) from the company who sent me the personality index assessment to complete for the $10/hr job I've applied for three times in the last two years (see example 2 in post What does it all mean?). Apparently my credentials are not sufficient to meet their needs. What the fuck do they expect for $10/hr?
My unemployment account is empty and I received no instructions regarding applying for extended benefits as their website indicates I should have and when I log on to my account there is no option to apply for extended benefits so I'm sure for whatever stupid fucking reason I don't qualify. I was really hoping to avoid ruining my summer by working some horrible job I could have had in high school and burning yet another bridge eventually, but it looks like that's not going to happen. It's pretty sad when you can make a strong argument that doing nothing but weed and channel surfing (if you are lucky enough to be able to afford weed and cable) for several years would have yielded better results than pursuing higher education and gainful employment. This revelation, I'm afraid, is the beginning of the end for me, folks. Peace out.
Today I received hate mail (my term for rejection letters) from the company who sent me the personality index assessment to complete for the $10/hr job I've applied for three times in the last two years (see example 2 in post What does it all mean?). Apparently my credentials are not sufficient to meet their needs. What the fuck do they expect for $10/hr?
My unemployment account is empty and I received no instructions regarding applying for extended benefits as their website indicates I should have and when I log on to my account there is no option to apply for extended benefits so I'm sure for whatever stupid fucking reason I don't qualify. I was really hoping to avoid ruining my summer by working some horrible job I could have had in high school and burning yet another bridge eventually, but it looks like that's not going to happen. It's pretty sad when you can make a strong argument that doing nothing but weed and channel surfing (if you are lucky enough to be able to afford weed and cable) for several years would have yielded better results than pursuing higher education and gainful employment. This revelation, I'm afraid, is the beginning of the end for me, folks. Peace out.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
What does it all mean?
Pre-employment testing has become one of the fastest-growing tools used
to select employees from pools of hopeful applicants and a variety of
testing tools are at the disposal of Human Resource managers and hiring
managers. There are some obvious problems with this particular strategy that jump to mind right away, such as "test faking". Also, how can these tests account for factors such as gender differences? If companies cannot control for these variables don't they run the risk of legal action due to discriminatory practices? A lot of emphasis is placed on the Big Five measures of personality traits (conscientiousness, emotional stability, extroversion, agreeableness, and openness). While these are certainly important considerations, they don't account for proactive measures (the degree to which people take action) of an individual's personality, which makes their validity somewhat trivial depending on the position. With regard to "test faking", few applicants are going to describe themselves as disagreeable, obstinate, self-preserving or self-centered. The perverse outcome of "test faking" is that the applicants that enhanced (faked) their responses the most are the most likely to be hired. The best part is that it's all based on some arbitrary test or set of guidelines in the first place!
Here's the question I have: What is it that employers are really trying to measure? Clearly, they're not interested in any quantifiable skills or they wouldn't be administering personality tests in the first place. Here are two personal experiences:
1. Out of desperation, I took a very time consuming assessment for a position that would require me to obtain a license to become a certified financial planner and I would be paid 100% commission on a draw (and self-employed, of course - no bennies!). Not a good set of circumstances, I know. Anyway, of course the integrity of the test was compromised because my mother and boyfriend were offering their assistance. The three of us are intelligent people with strong analytical skills and, together, we could not pass the personality portion of the assessment because we reasoned it was better to indicate a preference for working with others. Why would anyone suggest that they have a problem working with people? Especially when applying for a position that involves constant human interaction? The company reasoned that I was dependent on others for direction and that it could interfere with my ability to work independently. The truth? For the most part, I fucking hate working with other people. Especially men (this would have been an office with two men), but why would I ever admit that on a test? Ridiculous.
2. I've applied for the same low-wage position with the same company for the third time in the last year and a half and, finally, I must be in the running because they e-mailed a personality index assessment for me to complete. The only reason I'm willing to do this for a $10/hr job is because it is HR related and will provide me with some connections if I'm selected. There are two parts to this assessment. In the first section, I am to select from a list of adjectives how I feel I'm expected to act by others. In the second section, I am to select from the same list of adjectives those that I feel really describe me. From what I can reason, the only thing this test is going to tell them is if I act in accordance to how I feel people expect me to act. Of course, I didn't select anything that I felt would shed me in a negative light (I'm not going to tell them that I'm frequently angry, depressed, worried, and cynical), so we're right back to test faking. They might as well use the same methods as the company responsible for my major disappointment (see Major Disappointment Confirmed). I mean, what is their formula? My best guess is that they take the quadratic formula for brownies and divide it by the square root of gummy bears and that's how they decide who they're going to hire. So, what does it all mean?
Here's the question I have: What is it that employers are really trying to measure? Clearly, they're not interested in any quantifiable skills or they wouldn't be administering personality tests in the first place. Here are two personal experiences:
1. Out of desperation, I took a very time consuming assessment for a position that would require me to obtain a license to become a certified financial planner and I would be paid 100% commission on a draw (and self-employed, of course - no bennies!). Not a good set of circumstances, I know. Anyway, of course the integrity of the test was compromised because my mother and boyfriend were offering their assistance. The three of us are intelligent people with strong analytical skills and, together, we could not pass the personality portion of the assessment because we reasoned it was better to indicate a preference for working with others. Why would anyone suggest that they have a problem working with people? Especially when applying for a position that involves constant human interaction? The company reasoned that I was dependent on others for direction and that it could interfere with my ability to work independently. The truth? For the most part, I fucking hate working with other people. Especially men (this would have been an office with two men), but why would I ever admit that on a test? Ridiculous.
2. I've applied for the same low-wage position with the same company for the third time in the last year and a half and, finally, I must be in the running because they e-mailed a personality index assessment for me to complete. The only reason I'm willing to do this for a $10/hr job is because it is HR related and will provide me with some connections if I'm selected. There are two parts to this assessment. In the first section, I am to select from a list of adjectives how I feel I'm expected to act by others. In the second section, I am to select from the same list of adjectives those that I feel really describe me. From what I can reason, the only thing this test is going to tell them is if I act in accordance to how I feel people expect me to act. Of course, I didn't select anything that I felt would shed me in a negative light (I'm not going to tell them that I'm frequently angry, depressed, worried, and cynical), so we're right back to test faking. They might as well use the same methods as the company responsible for my major disappointment (see Major Disappointment Confirmed). I mean, what is their formula? My best guess is that they take the quadratic formula for brownies and divide it by the square root of gummy bears and that's how they decide who they're going to hire. So, what does it all mean?
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Major Disappointment Confirmed
Today I received the rejection email for the job I really, really, really wanted. I applied for this job just a couple of days ago. They decided in a hurry they don't want me for that job. It's Saturday. Someone must have made a special trip to the office today just for me. Cue fine china crashing on porcelain tile. The worst part is that I immediately and obsessively started googling stuff about the company and the people who work in their HR department and what I found sparked an outburst that resulted in damage to private property (my own). Basically, every recruiter in the company has a background completely unrelated to HR and possesses degrees ranging from mathematics to paralegal studies to psychology to veterinary technician. Wow. So these are the people they're relying on to staff their organization. It makes sense, then, why art majors are getting accounting jobs. My God. Apparently a four year degree in finance will award you the title of Senior Recruiter and four direct reports, at least if your name is Doily Mammoth/Fart'n'toot. And the best part is that Doily Mammoth/Fart'n'toot is a fucking idiot. More specifically, she capitalizes improper nouns. For example; "I'm very upset that I wasn't considered for this Job. If I wasn't so fucking hungover already and if the Liquor Store was still open I'd invest in some Liquid Therapy. Instead, I'm going to have a Meltdown and start throwing things and put a huge dent in my Closet Door. Not only do I not have a Job, but now I have a fucked up door that I'll never be able to replace to match the rest of the fucking trim and the other Doors in the room because my stupid fucking House is so dated." I feel that this is unacceptable. Wouldn't any company be embarrassed to be represented by people who do not have the capability to communicate beyond an eighth grade level? What the fuck is the world coming to? Well I guess it all goes back to the benefits of being functionally stupid. Maybe I should get a degree in vocal performance and litter my resume with typographical errors and then I'll be able to get a fucking job. I mean, what the fuck?
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Preparing for a Major Disappointment
Today I applied for a job I really, really, really want, (it's in the HR department) at a company I really, really, really want to work for (mostly because I have no other options, although there are advancement opportunities). I've been through a few tedious interview processes for other positions I've applied for with this company and managed to convince myself it was a sure thing only to be crushed when I lost the opportunities to the Dullest Bulb in the Tanning Bed and to a baby boomer who's going to retire in two years. Of course, I don't even know if I'll get an interview but I suspect I will because I peppered my resume and cover letter with words from the job description in order to manipulate their word-matching software. Alas, information systems trickery can only go so far. And what happens when I don't receive an offer after several more rounds of gut wrenching and nervous system twisting interviews? Aside from the quantifiable losses (see Revelations for Today), can my very fragile psyche endure yet another rejection of this magnitude? I'm afraid it would shatter me like fine china on porcelain tile. This disappointment would come at an especially bad time considering I recently contacted a previous co-worker turned manager regarding an open position for the exact job I once performed and was told that upper management would tell me to take my kite and fly it. I think asking for your old job (the one you hated so badly that you kept an empty laundry basket under your desk in case you felt compelled to clear it of your belongings before you stomped out the door in a fit of rage) only to be told to piss off is the step that happens right before you're the next burger flipper of the month at McDonald's because you were also rejected for the job I applied for today in favor of some other moron. Anyway, I'm going to have to figure out how to deal with one more missed opportunity if I don't get this job. And this is why I never let my hopes run away with me anymore; the subsequent crash hurts a lot less.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Revelations for Today
I have to share this with you guys, because Oh...My...God.
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/the-benefits-of-being-stupid-at-work-190339721.html
Now that we all understand the utility value of being functional idiots, we can press on.
It looks like I won't have to worry about commuting for two hours to work every day because I didn't hear back regarding the job I interviewed for last Wednesday within the time-frame they specified. In other depressing news, my unemployment account is going to run dry next week so I'm going to have to apply for extended benefits (thank you Mr. President).
Here's something else: I've kept accurate records of my employment search and I figure it's cost me about $10,000 in lost time. The hours wasted searching, applying, interviewing. Not to mention the money wasted on gas to get to interviews, printer paper, bond paper, ink, clasp envelopes, thank you cards, postage, UGH! Oh, and let's not forget the numerous hours spent studying for an insurance licensing exam and the nearly $1,000 it cost to take the courses, practice tests, pay the licensing fee and then driving to a town two hours away to take the test. And all for a 100% commission job it essentially cost me money to do. It should not be this hard. Being unemployed is fucking expensive. Anyway, I read somewhere that a person should expect to spend an additional month searching for employment for every additional $10,000 they expect to earn. By that standard, I should assume the $300,000/yr job offers will pour in at any moment. Meanwhile, I'm going to continue down the path of maximum resistance as I wait out the winter weather advisory on this late April day.
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/the-benefits-of-being-stupid-at-work-190339721.html
Now that we all understand the utility value of being functional idiots, we can press on.
It looks like I won't have to worry about commuting for two hours to work every day because I didn't hear back regarding the job I interviewed for last Wednesday within the time-frame they specified. In other depressing news, my unemployment account is going to run dry next week so I'm going to have to apply for extended benefits (thank you Mr. President).
Here's something else: I've kept accurate records of my employment search and I figure it's cost me about $10,000 in lost time. The hours wasted searching, applying, interviewing. Not to mention the money wasted on gas to get to interviews, printer paper, bond paper, ink, clasp envelopes, thank you cards, postage, UGH! Oh, and let's not forget the numerous hours spent studying for an insurance licensing exam and the nearly $1,000 it cost to take the courses, practice tests, pay the licensing fee and then driving to a town two hours away to take the test. And all for a 100% commission job it essentially cost me money to do. It should not be this hard. Being unemployed is fucking expensive. Anyway, I read somewhere that a person should expect to spend an additional month searching for employment for every additional $10,000 they expect to earn. By that standard, I should assume the $300,000/yr job offers will pour in at any moment. Meanwhile, I'm going to continue down the path of maximum resistance as I wait out the winter weather advisory on this late April day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)