A few days ago I applied for a job that was posted with an application deadline of one month from now, and today I received a strange voice mail. They left a long and rambling message informing me that they received my application and (while laughing and speaking in a somewhat sarcastic tone) indicated that the deadline is in a month and thanked me for my application as if it's somehow funny I applied for this job and even funnier that I did it in a timely fashion. Here's a news flash for employers across America: If you post an open position, you should expect that people are going to apply for it.
The truth? This position is with a church. My mother, bless her soul, is a fruit cake and is an organist, among other things, at several churches and offers her services for weddings and funerals, as well. Also, I was confirmed at this particular church due to the fact that the pastor at the church I was forced to attend while growing up refused to confirm me because he thought I was hostile (the reality is that he's mentally ill). This same pastor was my mother's pastor at the church she attended while growing up in another town and was also forced to undergo anger management counseling on the order of his senior Bishop. His wife is a sad little toad of a woman who is strangely offended by my mother and her organ-playing abilities. Ahhh...the aforementioned trail.
I feel strange discussing my religious proclivities (or lack, thereof) on an unemployment blog, so I won't. Or maybe I'll save it for another day. Needless to say, churches are not generally places where I feel welcome. I don't know if he was laughing for any of the reasons I mention above or if the content of my resume, cover letter, and reference letters is hysterical, but I'm sure I'll never hear from him again. Amen.
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