The Trail

Everyone remembers the infamous episode of Friends where Ross has sex with the copy girl and, with Chandler's help, connects the dots to reveal the trail that leads back to his girlfriend, Rachel.  Despite his desperate attempts at damage control, Rachel finds out about his indiscretion from Gunther and the "we were on a break!!!" saga that punctuates the show through seven more seasons is born.
Applying for jobs in a small town is a little like that.  For any particular position, the Labor Statistic must consider who she knows at the company and who they know and so forth.  For example, I opted not to apply for a certain position at a certain company today for the following reasons:
1.  An employee there was once friends with the Biggest L.  Fun Fact:  This same employee was fired from a previous employer for whom my current boyfriend used to work.
2.  Another employee there is the daughter of a crazy lady (I think methamphetamines may be partially to blame for that) who viciously lashed out at me for having to be the person to vacuum the restaurant we worked at when I was 19 years old and told by the owner to punch out because it was a slow night.
3.  Another employee assaulted my high school friend on her own property after screwing around with her boyfriend.  Naturally, I felt inclined to jump to my friend's defense.  Enough said.
4.  Another employee, who we'll call the dull dud, became oddly attached (I don't like the word obsessed - too creepy!) to me after we dated very casually for about a month.  When I say attached I mean it in the most unhealthy way possible.  (Note to sad, lonely, desperate people everywhere:  Nobody likes sad, lonely, desperate people.)
Let's face it, they're going to give the job to someone referred by a current employee anyway so there's really no point in applying.  As we all know, Ross and Rachel eventually work things out and it only takes seven years.  I've got four years to go.  There are way too many copy girls in my life and, right now, Rachel is not hiring.  What am I going to say if she asks for an explanation of employment gaps?  We were on a break?